new year, less guilt

I figured I'd better post something soon before I get too wrapped up in the new year to remember what I did for New Year's Eve, which is, not much. Stayed at home, started drawing and doing art again (which I've been neglecting since mid-November). Marcus and I shared some smoked oysters on ritz crackers and a bottle of sparkling non-alcoholic cider. I watched Speed (where is Keanu these days?) while Marcus played on Sindome. We didn't plan on staying up for midnight, but we got wrapped up in watching episodes of Angel and before we knew it people were cheering and setting off fireworks in the rain throughout the neighborhood. Happy New Year!

I don't generally make New Year's resolutions, and I don't necessarily consider this a resolution, but I need to work on my guilt quota. By that, I mean, I need to harbor less guilt. It drags me down, has for years. And I'm learning from my dearest of dear friends and soon-to-be husband that I don't need to have guilt over everything. Lots of things are not my fault and I don't need to accept responsibility for them. I just need to let go. I'm sort of hoping that going to church will help me in this area. And no, I'm not attending my guilt festering Catholic church. At least going to church will act as a reminder. It might seem kind of lame or weak, but it's what I need right now. It must be what I need right now, because both times that we've gone to church, so far, I've nearly burst into tears. Not sure what that's about... well maybe I do, but I'm just starting to work through that.

I also have a goal of losing 15 pounds before the wedding. Guess I should go out and buy a scale to keep track of that. Marcus is working on a similar goal. I also think I'll buy a set of hand weights to use at home. Need to work on my arms. I used to love my arms, but now that I'm not doing heavy lifting at work on a daily basis, they've gone to flab. So much to do, and only 24 hours in each day.