Christmas in a hurricane

So, Marcus and were looking forward to finally experiencing Christmas on the west coast. We figured we'd check out the infamous Christmas light display at Stanley Park, ride the little holiday train, explore some of the other events and displays in and around the lower mainland. But then of course, we got more freaky weather, as if we hadn't had enough freaky weather for most of November. Hurricane force winds, torrential rain, power outages, and other good stuff has put a serious damper on all festivities. Sitting in our little apartment in New West you probably wouldn't know that anything bad had happened, but drive five-ten minutes in any direction and you see the problems. Several cities were without power for over two days, including our local mall (poor little Christmas shoppers). In Seattle, a co-worker was without power for five days. We, however, didn't lose power once. Stanley Park, well, it's trashed to say the least. I'm not just talking about the Christmas lights either. Entire sections of trees came down, so now the lush inner city rain forest looks like it's just been clearcut. Oh, sections of the park have re-open, but they figure it will take at least a year to clean up the mess. I'm kind of feeling like we live in the eye of every storm.

As for our Christmas on the west coast, well...we're spending it indoors for the most part. Bought ourselves a new dvd player, got lots of new dvds from the fam for Christmas, so we're set. We already made little "gingerbread" houses from graham crackers and decorated them with loads of candy. Tomorrow night might be paper snowflake night.

Happy holidays from the soggy coast!

homesick

it's 9:10pm and it's snowing out. gentle flakes falling lazily. can't even see all the green lawns or blooming bushes. i miss actual winter. rain isn't winter. i can't wait to be back in Calgary in -20 weather. call me crazy.

wedding dress shopping: day one

So I went wedding dress shopping. I've been looking online at all sorts of dresses, but I finally made an appointment at one of the boutiques in downtown New West. (which by the way, is wedding central for the entire lower mainland). My mom was suppose to fly out for the weekend and we were going to go dress shopping together, but sadly, she came down with the flu. So off I went by myself. I was pretty sad about going alone at first because it's like this huge deal and traditionally brides-to-be take their bestfriends or mother along to share the whole experience. But I'm still hoping my mom can come out after Christmas to help me make my final decision on the dress.

Anyway, I did have a lot of fun, mainly because the dresses are just sooo absolutely gorgeous! I consider myself to be a fairly proficient sewer and that's why I enjoyed myself so much. I was in awe of the beauty and quality of these bridal dresses. The details! Amazing! The boutique I went to was very nice and I had a great sales assistant, Irina. I tried on several different dresses. Since it was my first day out, I told Irina I was up for trying anything on. I was mostly interested in figuring out what flattered and what didn't. I narrowed my choices for the day down to three favourites, which she registered under my file, so I can go back at anytime to re-try them. Wanna see my choices?

My absolute fav dress thus far is the Tabrett gown by Maggie Sottero in Vienna Cream. Second runner up is the Vincenza gown also by Maggie Sottero (keep in mind the color combo that I like is diamond white/oyster so the detail in the pleats and the embroidery is much more subtle than their example). Third runner up is the Brittanya Lynette, again, by Maggie Sottero in Diamond White (which is a bit creamy). Not bad for my first day out. There's still several boutiques in downtown New West to visit. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

increasing gladness

Chloe's test results for feline leukemia and AIDS came back negative!! This calls for a beer and tuna (the beer is for me, of course). Guess she has a kindey infection which her antibiotics should clear up in a week or so.

I made another batch of jam last night. This time Blackberry jam and it turned out wonderfully. So I guess things are improving. Still need to get a new coffee maker and sleep off this migraine. Then everything will be puppy dogs and rainbows.

My mom is flying out on Thrusday night to stay for a few days. Haven't seen her since July. We're going wedding dress shopping while she's in town. I can't wait. The stuff little girl's dreams are made of.

Unlucky couple of days

So Marcus is out of town and Chloe and I are here alone, so of course that's when things go sour.

First, I took Chloe to the vet for her annual vaccination and check-up. Turns out she has sore red gums (even though we responsibly feed her good quality crunchy food and tartar treats) and a fever. So they ask to do some blood work and screen for Feline Leukemia and AIDS. (it's either that or she has a dental disease). I agree, of course. So they take her in the back room and I can hear them struggling with her and know how squirmy and bitey she can be. Then I hear what sounds like an electric shaver. Eventually they bring her back to me. She looked absolutely terrified. The electric shaver sound was an actual shaver. She now has a furless chunk around her neck. They gave me some antibiotics to give her for the next ten days to help her ammune system. So now, twice a day, I have to attempt to hold her down, open her mouth, and squirt this liquid medication into her mouth and get her to swallow it (not spit it out). It's been fun so far.

Then last night I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to make some jam in preperation of Christmas. Things went fine, but the jam won't set up. So now I have eight jars of delicious strawberry-raspberry syrup.

And then I get up at 7:30 this morning to start work, give the cat her meds and all that fun. I put some coffee on right away so that it'll be done when by the time I force the meds down the cats throat. Coffee maker is dead. Yep. Dead. No coffee. I just about went back to bed, but I did the responsible thing and made some hot chocolate. I feel a little more soothed. Now it's time to get to work.

I miss Marcus.

gray

The winter rain is here.
I brace myself for the inner turmoil,
for the ache that will compound
and weigh heavy
on each day.
The months will pass slowly,
the days even slower.
The voices will gain strength,
as they always do,
and coax me closer to the edge.

Thy fate is the common fate of all;
Into each life some rain must fall,
some days be dark and dreary.
-Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow

plain picture

What's the meaning behind a photo of toes, where the big toes have red nailpolish and the others are bare? This is the type of question I've been facing for the past week. The batch of images I'm keywording is driving me nuts. They're so plain and yet utterly conceptual and stupifying. I just can't wait to get through them! Give me some good 'ol office photos to do or even some beach scenes with skinny chicks is beautiful bathing suits. Anything but this!

I am what I keyword. Also, I am what I eat, and most recently, that was the last of my bag of Rainbow Twizzlers. Gotta love artificially and naturally fruit flavoured licorice (what ever happen to just plain jane black licorice?). Anyway, I ended up labelling the toe image as having to do with quirky, individuality (besides being just toes). (sigh).

actually future mrs. r

Oh so giddy happy! Haven't taken the time to write until now. But it's not because of lack of enthusiasm. Mainly, it's because I get sort of nauseous when I start thinking about it. But not in a bad way. No sir, it's definately a good thing. I am now actually the Future Mrs. R.

Oh, my head is so spinning! I knew it would happen, but now it's for real-FOR REAL! So many things to consider, but it's gonna be fun to plan the wedding. I hope I don't drive all my friends and family nuts. All those little girl dreams have to be considered. Oh I know, I sound like a diva already...

Saturday, Sept, 2nd

This is the sushi restaurant that we had dinner at in Hope, BC.
We discovered it three years ago on our first road trip together. Such good sushi!

And across the street from the restaurant is the hotel
Marcus made reservations at. Again, we had stayed there on a previous road trip,
except this time, Marcus got a room with a jacuzzi tub.
He also set up tea light candles and bouquets of flowers everywhere.
It was in this uber romantic setting that he proposed.

The morning after...
we had a huge breakfast at Rolly's and this time there was no woman
with a pet bird in her cleavage (don't ask).

And thus concludes a look at our engagement.
Oh, trust me, there was way more, but none I care to share with anyone except Marcus. Blush-blush.

August 26th, 2000

It's funny, the things you remember. Like, on this day and around this time six years ago, I was being dropped off at my brother's house in preparation for his wedding that day. His fiance and fiance's sister and I went to Swizzle Sticks in Kensington first thing that morning to get our hair and make-up done. We had lunch at Red Robins. It was the first time I ever felt like I had sisters. Because it was, really. I miss her. But mainly I miss her because it hurts my brother so much now that she's not a part of his life any more. I worry about him so much sometimes, it hurts to speak.

It scares me too, you know. I really live by the examples that have been set before me. And I know that I'm my own person and Marcus and I aren't at all like my brother and his wife or like my parents, but it's hard not to see those examples and wonder what will happen to us. I want it to be like my parents, you know, and be able to stick it out through 36+ years of marriage or like my grandparents who are onto their like 56th. But I can only make it happen 50% of the way. It's up to the other person to make it 100%, since you can't be married to yourself. I guess that's what I've learned from my brother's divorce. You can love a person all you want and make sacrifices for them, but if they don't love or work just as hard, the relationship can't happen. I'm not saying there's an in balance in my relationship with Marcus or anything like that. I'm just saying, I wonder what will happen to us?

Abundance is loving someone
and being able to live your lives together.

aaahh, what just happened?

Okay, so my tip for the week, possibly the month... do not rent UltraViolet. Don't. Just don't. No. Watched it last night. I have no idea what we watched. It certaintly wasn't a movie, you know, with like a plot, storyline, character development, good action or fight scenes, cool futuristic stuff. None of that. The only thing I enjoyed was how her clothes changed colour. That's it. Not even the three seconds of the movie where Mila is naked makes UltraViolet worth renting. I thought maybe it was just me, but when Marcus says half way through the movie, "I feel like my soul has been tainted", you know it's bad. I personally got a stomach ach. And we couldn't bring ourselves to eat the ice cream we bought at sev 'cause we didn't want to ruin perfectly delicious ice cream. So, ya, don't rent it and especially don't rent it with someone unless you're trying to run them off from your life.

work, dance, food, art, sleep

I know I've been writting about my art lately and not much about my life (although they're very much intertwined at this point). Anyway, thought I would dwell on the mundane for a bit.

Been getting up around 6am most days, except for today. Been working. Finally gotten to the point where the keywording is becoming pretty second nature. And yes, I find myself doing it through the entire course of the day, whether I'm walking down the street or sleeping. Been trying to fit time in the afternoon to do my dance workout. I'm so out of shape, it's not funny. No, not funny at all. I can only really do just over 30min, with a bit of warm up and cool down. But I enjoy it. The cat sits there and watches me. She doesn't really get it. I've also been fitting in about an hour of art society stuff most days, well , maybe 4 days a week. I make supper. Nothing too exciting in that department. I spend about 45min - an hour doing my hand-stitching art sitting out on the balcony in the evening, watching the neighbourhood cats below. And then I spend another half hour working on whatever other art stuff needs getting done (postcards, sketches, writing). Then I give the cat here treats and read in bed for about an hour in order to wind by brain down enough to sleep. That's a day in the life of the Future Mrs. R. Oh, there's lots of kissing and playing and talking with the cat throughout the day, and in the evening there's lots of kissing and talking with Marcus, but no playing, because he generally has a meeting with his business partners. But I understand. It leaves me to do my art.

And then there are the few days a month where the mundane stops, like going to Science World and seeing the Egyptian Lego exhibition. Way cool. And playing with weird science stuff and being pushed out of the way by children or having the children show you how the mechanism works. I'm a bit slow when it comes to science. We also had the lovely Frenches over for Sunday afternoon slurpees and dinner one day, finally, after a year. And of course, there was the most super-ific day, August 8th to be exact. Most definately the farthest from mundane. It will stick with me for the rest of my life... shopping for beautiful sparkly diamond rings. That day may be slightly overshadowed when the opportunity comes for me to wear the gorgeous bling, but I won't forget it. How can I? He treated me like a princess and took the first step to saying, "I want to be with you for the rest of my life". Thank you. I needed that.

the pink stuff

Art is the demonstration that the ordinary

is extraordinary.

-Amedee Ozenfant

So, here it is. Gumshoe II. Completed and shipped. I sincerely hope it survived the journey and didn't melt or break. I overcame some technical difficulties faced in the first gumshoe and definately improved the design process. Hope it's new owner appreciates the "pinkness" to it.

I know that all through art school, professors nagged and nagged at us about how important it was to simply produce work; the importance of making the time and absorbing ourselves into the art world. Well, I guess I finally understand. Two years out of school, and I'm finally getting it. It took a year to switch from the education world to the real world and let my creative batteries re-juice a bit. Another year to find the drive to make art again and re-learn everything that my mind and hands had forgotten. I still can't draw a self-portrait without it looking like I drew it back in grade eight. So, I'm still dealing with basic drawing exercises. It will come with time and plenty of work.

And the difference in how I feel, from not doing any art to producing a small variety... it might just be the exposure to the sun, finally, but some of it has to do with getting my creative side going again. Seriously, it's like the difference between being depressed and, well, not be depressed. But hey, some of it's about the sun, so don't think I'm claiming that art is the ultimate healing power. Art just helps a bit.

I don't think you can really feel good mentally by just dipping your toe in the creative juices. Pretty sure you have to be at least ankle deep before you'll benefit from anything it has to offer. That said, however, get your ass off the couch and go to a gallery or museum. It's one small, but very good, step towards getting your art career back on track. The next step is committing to an on-going art project, even if it's just with yourself. Keep the idea small and the time committment even smaller, so you don't overwhelm yourself. Before you know it, you'll be wanting to do more and put more time aside to create. Seriously, it happens. After several months you'll probably even be prepared to make some larger project committments. Take a risk. Get involved in the greater art community. Boom. You've just got your art practice going again.

And hey, no, you can't slack at any point now or in the future. Slackers aren't artists. It's the worse myth/cultural stereotype there is. Artists are not slackers, slackers cannot be artists. If you think you can just sit around at home and draw and some big shot will just hand you an exhibition space and a couple thousand dollars to travel and study art, forget it. Find another career choice. Get the hell out of the way, because I've got art to make. And ya, art is a "career" and a "profession". I'm not gonna dump it in some secondary hole titled "interest" or "hobby". Forget it. I'm done with that. I'm not gonna feel shitty about a practice that has influenced civilizations and cultures just as much as science and medicine. I'm gonna put art on a pedestal, write it on the top of the "to do" list, and live and breathe it. People with excuses, can zip it. If you have time to make an excuse for not doing art, you have time to make art. Period.

Done.

That's my rant.

Go on working, freely and furiously,
and you will make progress.
-Paul Gauguin

yep, one year...

...one year, indeed. One year ago, Marcus and I loaded up a uHaul truck and moved to the west coast. One year ago, we began living together. One year ago, I started my first job outside of retail in over 6 & 1/2 years. One year ago, well... there were a lot of changes. More than my body and mind could almost really deal with. But that was a year ago. I'm still functioning. I may not love it out here, but my love is here and so I stay and will most likely stay for the next 3-5 years (depending on how everything in our lives go).

It's not horrible. I love our apartment and our kitty Chloe keeps me company all day and night (she never leaves me alone, really, which is fine by me). I like the mild weather, although, I'm really gonna have to figure out some way to survive another gray, dark winter out here. Just another challenge in a string of challenges that seem to define our lives. But I keep pluggin away at it. That's all one can do really.

Happiness lies in the absorption in some
vocation which satisfies the soul.
Henry Ward Beecher

I've given up stressing over things I no longer really have control over. Instead, I've been focusing on my own stuff. I'm no longer gonna use the little free time I have in endeavors which no one else are interested in. Why should I sacrifice when there's no one there to back me up?! So I'm on to my own stuff, particularly my own artwork. I've been trying to do some art every day, whether that's hand stitching (this new series of works in progress), postcards, bubblegum art, or photography or whatever, makes no difference. My new moto is "there's always time to create". And sure, some nights, I just don't or can't, but those nights are far less than the creative ones, which is a huge step.

Also, gonna start working on the body health too. The art side fulfills some of the mental health, but my body has been taking a vacation for the past year. Sitting at the computer, not even having to walk anywhere to or from work, has taken its toll. My dance DVDs arrived yesterday, so I started in on them in the afternoon. Did about 45 min. of dance (which doesn't seem long, but I definately over did it and paid for it all night long). Just goes to show how dead my body really is. But I'm determined to improve.

This past week involved work, drying bubblegum shoe art, rain, virtual fish tank, pirates, big bling, drying herbs from the garden, more rain, migrains, and scrabble (which Marcus won). An incredible week actually. Thanks babe, for spending lots and lots of time with me. I know you'll soon be crazy busy with the company stuff. But I do appreciate it so much! And no, my heart hasn't stopped beating fast yet. Maybe I should walk down to the hospital...

in the mean time

I'm patiently waiting for my dance DVDs to arrive. Yep, seriously. It's my new plan in an attempt to tone and increase my cardio. I love dance, but I'm way too intimidated right now to take an actual class. Besides, it's way cheaper this way and I'll be able to do it more often than a once-a-week class. In the mean time, I'm trying to cut back on the coke and drink more water, but haven't quite given up on the candy and chocolate. Don't think I will either. Need the sugar boost in the afternoon to keep me going (especially since I get up at 6:20 every morning now... also a change I made recently to maximize my time on earth). However, besides these somewhat "healthy" changes, I've had the urged of late to smoke cigars. So the late evening is reserved, on occassion, to a stogie on the balcony. Balance. It's all about balance. And trying not to be wound so tight, as someone recently pointed out about me (thanks Mr. Brown, no really, I need that). If you have tips on how not to go crazy or how to feel like more than a waste, please be so kind as to let me know. So, here I am, still waiting for my dance DVDs...

at the last minute

the optimisim is definately gone. now I simply ask, "why do I bother?"

drop of optimism

Never think of myself as being overly optimistic, but today I seem to have a drop of positive energy I'd like to add to the glass.

"Mad as we are, cannot fail"

That pretty much sums up my current feelings. My friends and I are crazy enough that there doesn't seem to be room for failure. How could there be? Know you guys are going through rough crap lately, but honestly, we're each nuts enough to pull off our dreams. That feels impossible most days, but when I think about what we each bring to the world... I mean, wow. We could do anything. So there world. Take that. And watch out, 'cause our minds are 'bout to birth some wicked creativity and inflict a few changes.

"Hope flickering, like moths in the night"

-today's blog was brought to you by the letter "O" and the stylings of "Erasure"

Hot and bothered...

but not like you think. It's hot. Hot. Hot. Hot here today. The high of 34 degrees isn't bad if all you have to do is sun tan or drink beer on a patio, but forget trying to actually accomplish work. So here I sit in out little apartment sans air conditioner surronded by big windows with the sun beating in. Even with our fan on high and not really moving, just typing, sweat is dripping down my legs. Yep. Seriously. But on the plus side, I down loaded that super catchy techno song from that Jimmy Fallon/ Park Posey Pepsi commercial. So good. Makes me want to run the streets naked in this heat. But don't worry. I still have my sanity and self-consciousness, so no real danger there. Now it's finally off to pick up Marcus and find an air conditioned restaurant for dinner. Thinking the White Spot. Then there's the possibility of eating a mountain of mini cream puffs for dessert. Seriously.

the sweetest little fella

Okay, So I'm sure your familiar with the movie Ginger Snaps. Well, we have this little convenience store at the end of our block and the nice little ol' asian man who runs the place looks exactly like the nice little ol' janitor who helps out Brigitte in Ginger Snaps. I know I'm a movie freak, but Marcus said the same thing. I was kind of creeped out at first, but the little ol' asian man is really sweet. I went into the store yesterday to buy some flowers for Marcus, but all he had ready were potted plants. Ginger Snaps Janitor asked if I could wait ten minutes and asked what price range I was looking for. I said $10 and looked at magazines for a few minutes. And sure enough Ginger Snaps Janitor was behind the counter making up a bouquet. Now you got to picture the place, it's your basic local skeezy convenience store, but from behind the counter he creates a beautiful BIG bouquet, and wraps it all nice and charges me $10. It made my day. I hope it brightened Marcus'. Thanks Ginger Snaps Janitor!

15 pieces of flare

Yep, watched Office Space Sunday with the Frenchs. Although Milton and Samir are my fav characters, I do love the whole bit about "flare".

"If you want me to wear 37 pieces of flare than why not make the minimum 37 pieces of flare!?!"

So good. My flare these days is when I choose not to wear pajamas for the whole day while sitting at the computer working. In fact, I haven't worn pjs all day for a while. I'll get right on that. And while I'm at it, I'll make sure to file that TPS report accordingly. How many people do you think quit their office job after seeing that movie? I just don't think I could do it, work in an office environment day in and day out for years. But that leaves me with the ever-lasting-gob-stopper of questions, "What the hell should I do as a career?"

Actually, the funniest part (or maybe the saddest) is that most of the photos I keyword are office photos. "Businesspeople" wearing their "suits" and "pantsuits" "talking" on "cell phones", "working", "typing", taking a "coffee break", and always looking "determined", "satisfied", "confident", or have "ambition" and the "corporate ladder" on their minds. A good week is when I find myself keywording photos of people on the beach, families at home, or simplistic still lifes. The most fun keywording... kid's birthday parties. Yep. Their uplifting and there's always good cakes and treats to look at, too. That's my little world.

one down, three million to go

Okay, I'm proud. I'm beaming even, accept for the bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. I drew last night for almost an hour. Yep. Not long in the scheme of things I suppose, but long enough to get the wheels going in my art brain. Came up with an idea for the at-arts show (and it doesn't really require paper). Also managed to draw one horrible self-portrait. Man it's hard to get back into traditional figure drawing. But reverted and decided to do some blind contours.

Suggestions for those trying to get back into the art stuff: start small. do warm-up exercises that we thought were lame in art school. do not get frustrated. do not use black conte while working in a room with white to cream carpet. do not flip through old sketchbooks and expect to draw like that right away again. stay loose. yep, loose. do open your old printmaking tool box and inhale the fumes. do attempt to remember all those things that helpful profs once said. nothing is coming to mind at the moment (probably need more coffee).

Good luck! (look ma, I used a font colour)

what kind of artist...

What kind of artist moves to a new province and leaves all their drawing paper, newsprint, and drawing board at their old house in Calgary?! Well, that would be me. Even the DaRaddishman left his mound of paper behind. I distinctly remember him asking to store it at my bro's house. I don't know what we were thinking, especially since we'll be here now for sometime. I had such an urge to draw yesterday. I searched all the portfolios we moved, but none contained usuable paper. Guess we're off on another adventure. A quest for a good art supply store and good drawing paper. I'm gonna try my best at doing a self-portrait for the upcoming show, if I can get paper soon, and warm back up to drawing. I actually find the quest to find paper more daunting than trying to re-teach myself figure drawing.

oops, now my brain is busy, busy, busy thinking about all the art related work I need to do before Septempber. It seems to come in waves. All the deadlines and projects. With generally two weeks in between where I just block it all out.

for now it's on to work that I actually get paid for.

Blurbing

I swore I wouldn't do this. Wouldn't create a blog. I hate the word. "Blog". Ugh. So I'm going to delude myself into calling this "blurbing" because that' s really want it is. Blurbs regarding people's lives, current events, and such. Anywho, I guess I finally gave in because I miss all my friends in Calgary and communicate with you'all through your blogs. I make you write and write just to keep myself abreast and amused. So now it's my turn. Though I don't have tons to write about. It'll come I guess.